Dear Annie: I used to really enjoy my job. Then came my new cubicle mate. She is perfectly nice, friendly, polite, even funny, but she also has body odor so powerful it could knock over a houseplant. Our desks are only five feet apart, which means I spend eight hours a day marinating in her scent cloud. By mid-morning, my stomach is churning, and by quitting time, I feel like I should toss my clothes straight into a bonfire.

I tried putting an air freshener under my desk, but that was like putting a Band-Aid on a flood. The smell sails right past lavender, citrus and mountain breeze without breaking a sweat. I cannot tell if it is sweat, unwashed laundry, poor hygiene or possibly a medical issue. All I know is that it is relentless.

I am not the only one who notices. My co-workers whisper about it behind her back, and a few have even gone to management. Nothing has changed. Meanwhile, I am stuck in ground zero. I do not want to hurt her feelings or make her feel singled out. She really is a kind person, and I would like to keep things cordial. But my nose has been waving a white flag for weeks.

How do I bring this up without making her feel humiliated or turning our cubicle into a war zone? — Fresh Air

Dear Fresh Air: There is no easy way to tell someone they smell bad, but there are kinder ways than you might think. Since management already knows and has not acted, the next step is to address it gently yourself. Keep it private, keep it short and keep it kind. A simple, "I don't know if you are aware, but there's sometimes an odor and I thought you would want to know" is direct without being cruel. Most people would rather hear it quietly from a colleague than through office gossip.

If the idea of saying it yourself feels impossible, ask your manager or HR to step in again, and insist it be handled. This is a workplace issue, not just a personal nuisance, and it is fair to expect management to deal with it.

You are not a villain for wanting to breathe freely at work. A little honesty, delivered with care, can make life better for both of you.

Dear Annie: I'm a 52-year-old woman who thought I had my friendships figured out. I've had the same core group of friends for more than 30 years — we've been through weddings, births, divorces, even the loss of parents. But lately, I feel like I've been quietly voted out of the club.

When we were younger, we leaned on each other for everything. Now they plan weekends away, dinner parties and even simple movie nights — and I often find out only after the fact, when I see the photos on social media. I've asked once or twice if I did something wrong, and they brush it off with excuses about schedules or "it just came together last minute."

Here's the thing: I'm not looking for constant invites or hand-holding, but being excluded from people who once felt like family stings. I can't tell if this is just the natural ebb and flow of long friendships, or if I've truly been edged out. Part of me wants to call it out directly. Another part wonders if I should gracefully bow out and build new connections with people who value me.

How do you know when to fight for old friendships — and when to let them go? — Feeling Left Out

Dear Feeling Left Out: Friendships, like seasons, shift over time. You can't control whether you're invited, but you can control how you respond. Tell your friends plainly that their exclusions hurt, and then watch what they do — not what they say. If the behavior continues, take it as information: you deserve to spend your energy on people who show up for you. Old friendships are worth cherishing, but they aren't worth begging for.

Follow Annie Lane on Instagram at @dearannieofficial. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.

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